


Addicted to Love

by Loraclynn



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, Revenge, Slow Burn, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-24 03:21:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 14,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18160817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loraclynn/pseuds/Loraclynn
Summary: Good-natured astronomer Magnus is devastated when the love of his life, Camille, leaves him for a suave Frenchman named Sebastian. He therefore does what every other normal dumpee would do; go to New York and set up home in the abandoned building opposite his ex-girlfriend's apartment, intent on winning her back. What Magnus does not count on is being joined several weeks later by ultra hip Alec, a photographer who is determined to get revenge on Sebastian, his ex-fiancé. Hostile at first, the two of them eventually join forces in an attempt to separate the couple, and ruin Sebastian’s life. However, complications ensue when Magnus and Alec start falling for each other.





	1. Supernova Thursday

“We're getting straight gammas every half pulse at irregular intervals. Let's move the telescope to right ascension 23 hours, 5 minutes.” Magnus yells down to Simon

“What the hell is going on out here? Alpha Orionids is going supernova sometime in the next 100 million years!” Professor Aldertree says trying to dismiss Magnus's calculations

“It’s Thursday.” Simon shrugs

“Exscuse me?” Clearly Aldertree does not understand

“It’s Thursday. It's supernova Thursday.” Simon tries again

“If Alpha Orionids were about to go supernova there would be silicon flashes and neutrino emissions, even in daylight, we would be able to see.... wait” Aldertree whipping his head around finding Magnus “you predicted this?” Aldertree now looking at Magnus in awe.

Simon just smirks at him and glances at the clock on wall “Excuse me, Magnus, I know you're busy...but it’s almost noon.”

“It’s almost noon? Oh my God it’s almost noon! Everybody let’s go! Get in position! LET’S GO!” Magnus all but runs to the telescope

Aldertree watching everyone scurry “What? What are you doing? You're pointing the damn thing down! Why is he pointing it down, the sky is up!”

“Professor, there's this other phenomenon that Magnus gives his priority to at noon.” Simon says as he claps Aldertree on his shoulder

“Other priority? Now? What could be more important?”

“Yes, Every day… Actually, this event isn't strictly celestial” Simon mumbles

Magnus has the scope pointed at the elementary schools playground, specifically at the woman he loves. She’s a teacher and is watching kids on their lunch break. He looks through to see Camille checking her watch & then flipping her blonde hair and looking up, waving and blowing kisses his way. "I love you… She loves me said the little blue man.” Magnus whispered, his heart full and his mind knowing his life is perfect


	2. Dear John

Out for a walk around town holding hands with his love Magnus can’t help but feel content and happy. Waving to shop owners and neighbours he's known his whole life. Coming up to the schools playground, Magnus smiles at the jungle gym. He turns his head to look at Camille, who is deep in thought, he pulls her towards the swing sets “What is it?” Magnus asks “ I know something is on your mind"

“Remember I told you they were going to pick a teacher to represent the district at the school in New York?” Camille answers with a slight smirk

“New York? You? That's great.” Magnus hopes he’s sounding supportive but knows she can sense his doubt

“Don't look at me like that. It's only two months. It's not like I'm going to the moon”

“Two months is a long time”

“You could come.”

“You know I can't.”

“You could take off work. You just never want to get out of this town and see the possibilities.” Camille answers frustratingly

“Everything I want to see is right here. You, the sky. I went to school in that building right there. I hung upside down on this jungle gym. In 20 years, I haven't moved an inch. I fell in love with you on this jungle gym”

Camille slots their hands together and looks Magnus in the eyes with a loving smile “You know how much I want to do this but.. I love you so if you tell me to stay, I'll stay.”

“Stay.”

Of course she’s not going to stay. She can’t pass up this opportunity. As much as Magnus doesn’t understand wanting to leave this town he is going to support her, after all, it’s only two months. He kisses her goodbye one last time and closes her car door… standing in the street watching her drive away he’s just noticed her car is overly packed… he wonders absently why she would need so much stuff for only two months?

 

Today is the day! After two, very long in Magnus's opinion, months Camille is coming home. They haven’t talked much while she was away, she was always busy at the school so he’s decided to go all out to welcome her home. His house is already set up with balloons, flowers, wine and chocolate. Now he’s hanging the “Welcome Home Camille” banner on the towns main road.

“Hey Raphael, hoist it up! It's got to be higher. Much higher. Higher!” Magnus sees Camille’s father approaching

“Mr. Belcourt, what are you doing here?”

“Come here, Magnus.”

“Is Camille all right?”

“Listen to me. Love can sometimes be a very difficult thing.” He clears his throat “Listen up.” Mr. Belcourt pulls a letter from his jacket pocket

_**"Dear Magnus, this is the most difficult thing I've ever done. I’m sorry I don't have the courage to do it face-to-face. I never planned this, Magnus.** _

Magnus, not quite understanding what’s happening asks “Mr. Belcourt, what is this?”

“She left you son. I'm reading her Dear John letter” he continues with the letter:

**_"It's not you, Magnus. How can I make you understand? Your life is set. You have your stars and your friends and the town, but I feel like I'm just finding out what mine is all about. Oh, Magnus, so many emotions are surfacing as I write this.”_ **

Magnus puts his hand up to stop Mr. Belcourt “Where is she, Mr. Belcourt?”

“She thought it would be best if you didn't talk for a while. Let me finish this off:

_**"You're my best friend in the world Magnus so you must know that this is the way I am. I can't help it. It's my nature.”** _

“It's true, son. She's nuts. Where're you going? I'm not finished. The best part's coming up.”


	3. New York

After figuring out where Camille lived Magnus hopped on a plane to New York. “Once she sees me she’ll come to her senses” he thinks. Finding her apartment was a little difficult. Finally a stranger takes pity and offers help . “Two blocks down and to the left.” He rushes off

“Thanks.” Magnus shouts not sure if he’s heard. “I hope I'm doing the right thing.” He thinks “I’m sure you are.” His heart answers.

He’s standing outside her building, all he has to do is press the buzzer. And so he does. Then he hears a conversation coming from the open window next to the stoop. … he buzzes again.

“Honey!” That sounds like Camille Magnus thinks.

He presses the buzzer again

“What is it?” A man with a French accent says

“Can you get that?” Definitely Camille, but who is the man?

“I'm taking a nap.” Frenchman states

“I'm in the bath.” Camille sounds agitated

Magnus presses the buzzer but keeps his finger on it

“All right. I hear you, God damn it! This better be goddamn good! You're ruining my beauty sleep! Damn you! Lay off the buzzer!” Frenchman finally calls down “Who is it?” No answer.

Magnus walks away realizing Camille didn’t just leave because of the town, she left because she found someone new. He’s pacing up and down her block when he stops and sees an abandoned building across from Camille’s building and the idea just comes to him. He’ll watch them, learn their routine, learn what it is about this Frenchman that she would throw away their love. She’s naïve he thinks, clearly this man is conning her. I will expose him for the conman he is and my sweet loving Camille will fall back into my arms.

After a quick stop to a charity shop & the local petrol station to get supplies and some food he goes back to the abandoned building and gets in pretty easily. He has to watch himself on the steps and there are some pretty dodgy looking areas on the floor he chooses to avoid but if he wants Camille back he has to put up with his surroundings. He sets up his charts. He has a perfect view of Camille’s apartment. Sure he has to sleep on a rotting floor in a sleeping bag and his roommates are rats and roaches and there is no electricity or water but it will be worth it in the end.

He walks over to his window to peer into Camille’s apartment. It’s been one week of Magnus watching and charting them, he’s running out of money but knows he just has to be patient, Tarzan (as Magnus calls the hot Frenchman now) will mess up soon!

“Morning, everybody. Morning, Camille. Morning, Tarzan.” He checks his watch and goes over to his first chart “We are six minutes later than yesterday. That's six, carry the two. Good.”

“Ah, there! See that?” He says to no-one while looking at Camille “medium smile, no teeth.” He watches Tarzan, predicting his next move. “Don’t forget the vase" Tarzan has an obsession with everything being in the perfect place. “Got to get it perfectly centered. There? No. There? No. One more. Why not?”

He looks to see Camille’s expression “Annoying, isn't it, honey? Grin all you want, monkey man. All you are is a passing meteor shower. You'll be gone soon enough. I feel sorry for you, you poor bastard.”

Magnus digs out his mobile phone “Simon, it's me, Magnus. Calm down. I'm fine. I’m still in New York. We're great. Camille 's very happy. We may stay awhile. We're very busy. There's lots to do.” So what if he’s lying, it will be true soon enough “Simon, I need you to sell my truck. Whatever you can get for it. I'm just a little short of cash right now. Listen, Simon… there’s something else I need…and Professor Aldertree doesn't have to know about it.”


	4. Alexander

Magnus is watching Camille and Tarzan, through his telescope that Simon sent him. He also buys a screen and modifies his telescope to project whatever it's seeing onto the screen, It’s a much better set up, he can see more of her apartment.

It appears Tarzan is telling her a funny story, she’s laughing, throwing her head back and running her hand up and down his forearm. He starts to imagine its him in place of Tarzan...

“Hey, Camille. How you doing? You want to hear something funny? I saw this on the news before I came out. Fainting goats. I'm not making this up. There's this breed of goats. I don't know why, but they faint at the slightest thing. If they hear a loud noise or a gun goes off they black out, fall right over, one after the other. I thought you'd like that.”

Suddenly Tarzan picked up Camille and is carrying her away “Get off her! I don't even have a chart for that!” They go out of view, Magnus is frantically trying to find them through the telescope “Get over here. Gotcha! Get away from her!”

He’s to distracted he doesn’t hear the intruder pushing his way in the lower level. He does hear the creaking steps and turns around to face, well, what appears to be a leather clad alien. He’s got on leather jacket, leather boots and the tightest pair of leather pants Magnus has ever seen. He also has on a helmet with a darkened face shield.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Magnus standing tall, holding his ground, ready to defend himself. He’s getting no answers the stranger is ignoring him and walking around looking at all his charts.

“I'm warning you! I have a gun!” He doesn’t. Oh, shit. The stranger removes his helmet and looks at Magnus for a second before he goes back to inspecting all of Magnus’s stuff.

“What the hell are you? What do you want?” still nothing “Excuse me. I asked a question. I live here. What do you want? Don't touch that. Get away from that. Who the hell are you? What do you want?”

Finally he speaks “They'll hear you” he nods his head towards Camille’s apartment

Perplexed Magnus asks “What are you talking about?”

“Your little Goldilocks and my ex-fiancé.” He says

Stunned Magnus says “Hold it. Are you saying that guy, that thing over there and you….? What’s your name?”

“Mike"

Sure Magnus thinks, rolling his eyes

“What's your name, Mike? I’m Magnus.”

The stranger actually looks Magnus up and down before he answers “Alexander, but call me Alec.”

Alec walks over to an empty spot on the floor and drops his backpack “I'll be staying here awhile. I sleep naked. It’s the only way I'm comfortable. So don't think of it as a come-on...because if you so much as breathe in my direction I will nail your dick to that beam.” He says picking up a hammer from God knows where and points it at the beam over a hole in the floor. “Don't mess with my stuff and don't get in my way and I'm sure we'll get along fine. Nighty-night.”

Magnus just stands there staring, slightly scared. “Guess I’ve a new roommate” he mumbles to himself and crawls into his sleeping bag still wondering where the hell Alec got that hammer.

The next day Alec is organizing and putting together some sort of wires and Magnus doesn’t know what else so he asks

“What is all this stuff?”

“Bugging equipment, cactus.” He points to the wires and then the plant

“Like listening bugging? Bugging who?”

Alec looks up “Take a wild guess.”

“Why would anyone want to do that?” Magnus asks

“Cause I want to hear what goes on in there. Don't you want to hear what goes on in there?”

“No, I do not.”

“Why not?”

“Because that would be an invasion of her privacy.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Video.” Alec retorts

“That's not a video. It's a camera obscure. It's pure light. I'm not spying. I just want to be with her. That's completely different.” He starts thinking he and Alec have the same goal, get back their loves.

“I know how you feel.” Magnus says sympathetically “You want him back so badly that you can't stand it. It's like your guts are twisting around inside. But bugging their apartment... What?” Magnus sees an odd look that Alec is giving him

“I don't want him back. I want him vaporized. Extinguished! When I'm done with him he'll be a twitchy little stain on the floor. Is that what you're doing? You're waiting for her to leave him for you?” Alec asks looking at Magnus like he has two heads

“Absolutely.” Magnus replies

Alec chuckles “Have you seen him?”

“He is irrelevant. Camille and I are soul mates. This is just a passing phase. They're going to break up tonight. I know it.”

Alec stops what he’s doing “I'm listening.”

“I'm an astronomer. It's my job to find patterns in things that seem completely random. I found a pattern. It's all in the data.”

“The data. What data" Alec is just humouring him at this point

“This data.” Magnus waves his arms at all his charts and starts to explain each one "Mutual feeding activity. It's the number of times that Camille and what's-his-name feed each other.”

“You're counting.” Alec now looking at the charts in disbelief

“Not just that. Everything. Kisses, hugs, smiles, fights.” Magnus pointing at each chart

“They fight?” Alec eyes widen and he’s hopeful

“No. Not yet. Long looks, whispering, shouting…”

“They shout?” Alec still hopeful

Magnus is getting frustrated, why isn’t Alec understanding him? “You're missing the point. Tonight there's going to be a fight. They are going to break up and I'm going to be right here for her. Tonight this will all be over... so you might as well start packing your bags.”

“That is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. I don't mean that trivially. I'm a photographer. I’ve seen a lot of things. I once took pictures of a man who ate his own legs... and you would be the black-sheep of that family.” Alec goes back to his bugging equipment Magnus has had enough

“What's your evil plan? Squirt him with squirt guns? Throw rotten strawberries at him?”

“You looked in my satchel?” Alec asks in an accusing tone

“Yeah. Call a cop.”

“You are a strange, tragic little man.”

“Say what you want. Camille and I are in love.”

“Except for her boning my boyfriend you guys are the perfect couple.”

“Listen, batman, at the end of the day she is coming back to me, and we're going to be happy. And where are you going to be? All alone somewhere hatching some little revenge scheme.”

“Let me tell you something, Magnus. Listen very carefully. Are you listening? The only way that girl is coming back to you is if a blast of semen catapults her across the street and through the window.”

“I want you out.”

“Not going to happen.”

“I was here first.” Magnus walks over to where Alec's things are

“Put me down for half the rent and get out of my face.”

Magnus grabs the surveillance equipment and is just about to toss it out the window

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” Alec says calmly

“Why not?”

“You paid for it.”

“You stole my money.” Magnus pulls out his wallet “You took everything I had to buy this crap?”

“That was everything you had?”

“What the hell is that for, anyway?” Magnus points at the cactus

“It's pretty, Magnus.” Alec says as if that excuses everything


	5. Listening

“There we go.” Alec sits in a chair with his feet up on the windowsill headphones on. He’s planted the listening devices and he seems to be enjoying their conversation.

Magnus has no idea where he’s stealing electricity from and decides not to question it. Magnus is going crazy, he can’t see them, they must be in the bedroom getting ready for work.

“You can hear them?”

Alec nods

“Are they talking?”

Another nod

“What about?”

“You wouldn't be interested.” Alec says nonchalantly

Magnus can't stand it. “Let me hear.”

“It's wrong, Magnus, an invasion of privacy”

“Just for a second. I just want to hear her sweet voice.”

Alec smirks “Beg me.”

“Please.” Magnus whispers through clenched teeth

“Excuse me. Did you say something?”

“Please let me hear.” He says louder, clearer

Alec pulls the headphone cable from the receiver to let Magnus hear

“Oh my God. He's killing her!” Magnus says

Alec is enjoying watching Magnus squirm while listening to his ex-girlfriend having sex, he laughs out “He's killing her all right and she's loving every minute of it.”

“She's not like that. She likes to make love quiet and slow and gentle.” Magnus isn’t sure who he’s trying to convince

“That girl of yours is a carnival ride.”

“This is horrible. This is worse than I'd imagined.” Magnus slides down a wall to sit

“Want me to turn it off?”

“No. I need to hear it.”

“How very brave.” Alec rolls his eyes

Magnus feels sick as he realizes “He's making love to her in French.”

“You know Magnus” Alec begins his taunting “French men are very small. But not this guy. It's like Godzilla's tail. He could take down Tokyo with that thing. Jesus.... This has got to be the longest orgasm I've heard.” Alec turns up the volume “You want your charts?”

“You enjoy making me suffer.” Magnus sounds defeated

Alec takes his legs off the window and leans forward, facing Magnus with determination “Help me get him, Magnus. Take the road less travelled. It'll make all the difference.”

“I will not get sucked into your nightmare.” Magnus states

“Whatever.” Alec turns the volume all the way up “I think I can get this in stereo. Welcome to New York, spy-boy.” Alec shouts


	6. Squab

“Slim Jim?” Alec asks Magnus waving a meat stick at him. Magnus is sitting in one of the busted up lawn chairs he found in a bin, watching Camille.

Alec takes a seat in the other chair “Let's see what Ken and Barbie are having tonight…. Ah, squab. He marinates it for half a day in a lemon-wine sauce and he braises it with sugar.”

“Please be quiet. I have to concentrate. It's happening tonight.”

Alec gives him a side eye and turns on the receiver

“Smells delicious.” Says Camille as she enters the kitchen, she sits on the counter and watches Sebastian.

“I'll tell you a secret.” Starts Sebastian “It's not my recipe. I met an old man, and he said only prepare it for the person you love.”

Alec huffs “Later I found out he made it for a party he catered. Five hundred people. He’s just bursting with love. You should go to his restaurant sometime. Good food, good people.”

“Wait” Sebastian says to Camille “Take the spoon like this.”

“Just let her eat it, you maggot!” Yells Alec

“It's the best thing I've ever eaten.” Camille says with a smile

Alec is making puking sounds

“Will you shut up?” Snaps Magnus

Sebastian kisses her on her cheek “love to watch you eat.”

Magnus straightens up in his chair “She hates having people watch her eat! He's going down in flames. Here it comes…”

“Oh” Sebastian starts “you know, I heard the most amusing story. There is this... What are they called? Sheep. Yeah. A breed of goats. And when they hear a sharp sound they fall over.”

“A sharp sound?” Camille asks

“Yeah. Anything. You clap your hands, and they fall over.”

Magnus standing now and pacing “That's my story. They pass out When they hear a sharp sound. It's true. They just fall over on the ground. That's my kiss. That's my...Oh, not the food.” Magnus looks down, for a good while, then looks at Alec “I'll do it. I'll do whatever you want. This has to stop. I don't care about right or wrong anymore. This must stop.”


	7. Define Love

“All you gotta do is nudge him. Just graze him like that.” Alec demonstrates as he tries to teach Magnus about pickpocketing “You bump into him as soon as you see me coming towards you"

“Won’t he recognize you?” Magnus sounding worried

“Not if you do exactly how I showed you, he'll never even see me… plus, I’ll have my helmet on. You’ve nothing to worry about, you’ve got the easy job… just bump into him and keep walking. I’ll get his wallet”

“There he is. show time” Alec says as he flips down his helmet visor and walks to the other side of the walk way.

Magnus does as he’s taught and bumps into Sebastian, a little harder than necessary and his mind loses it.

“Sorry” mumbles Sebastian

Magnus looks at him and steps in his path “You're sorry? You should be God damned sorry. You think you can trample a person and say you're sorry? Well, you can't. You can't trample on somebody's life and say, I’m sorry. There ought to be something more you can say when you walk all over somebody.” Magnus stops his rant, he’s furious, his hands are balled up into fists and Sebastian is saying something in French. Suddenly Magnus punches Sebastian in the face, and it feels good for a moment then he thinks “what the hell did I just do?” he turns and runs to meet Alec

“I think we took a detour from the plan there.” Alec's leaning on an ally wall, going through Sebastian’s wallet. He doesn’t sound upset at what Magnus did, he looks…. Good. Has he always looked this good? Have his eyes always been so bright? His smile beautiful? And when did he get so tall? I bet he’s got abs of steel… I’ll have to check tonight, he did say he sleeps naked and WHOA…. What the hell? He realizes he’s staring and shakes he’s head I’m here for Camille. He gives a little laugh and says “I really hit him, didn't I?”

“You smacked him one all right! How'd it feel?”

“Great!”

“What is your plan? What do you want to do?” Alec asks Magnus

“I just want his dignity, that's all"

Alec gets an evil glint in his eyes “I want him penniless, hopeless, loveless, finished off. I wish him very, very ill.

“How ill are we talking here?”

“I'm not saying I want him dead. But, should that occur, people die all the time. Why should he be any different? Just thinking on my feet, though. I don't have to decide the death part right now. I can wait and see how I feel...” Alec smiles “once his dignity's a thing of the past.”

They walk up to an ATM and Alec tries Sebastian’s card. “Thank you Sebastian!” he looks at Magnus “idiot didn’t change his pin number"

Magnus is deep in thought “Maybe I shouldn't have hit him. He's just a man in love, same as me"

Alec grabs his arm and they stop walking, “Define love.”

“Why?”

“Because every other word out of you mouth is "love” and I'd like to know what it is, this magical ideal of yours. Define it.”

“Well, it's like,” Magnus begins “I don't know… It's like all your life you walk around with this feeling of emptiness in your stomach. You feel completely hollow. And when you're in love, you feel...not hollow. It's like without it, there's nothing. A shell. A cavernous emptiness… Forget it. You can't define it.”

Alec looks at him as they start walking again “When I was a kid, my father had this dog. It started to get weak and sickly so he took it to the vet. The doctor examines it and says a maggot must've laid eggs in the dog's butt. He says there's not much they can do. The baby maggots have crawled up and started to grow and eventually they’re going to eat the dog alive from the inside out. He says it should be put to sleep because it's an old dog anyway. But Father won't do it. He takes it home. He puts it on the bed. He starts to reach up into the dog picking out the maggots with his fingers, one by one. It takes him all night but he gets every last one.

That dog outlived my father. That's love, Magnus.”

Magnus seeing the softer side of Alec decides to point it out to him “You're not that tough, Alec. I can tell you're not that tough. And you can forget about a career with Hallmark.”


	8. Lipstick and Lingerie

“Won't he miss the card?” Magnus suddenly remembers they’ve stolen from Sebastian as they wonder the various departments in a very high end shop.

“He won't know what hit him till the bill comes because he only uses his platinum.” Alec waves him off

“I'll just take everything in this whole area” Alec says to the sales person "and I'll need it delivered to this address"

“You know Sebastian's having an affair?” Alec leaned into Magnus and whispered

“He is?” Magnus has hope again

“That's what Camille's going to think.”

Magnus catches on, Alec has bought every pair of sexy underwear and is now having them delivered to “Sebastian’s lover" “Where are you sending them?”

“To Ragnor, a family friend. The old battle-ax should get a kick out of this. Come on, let’s go to the park"

They spot a man with a music box and there’s a monkey going around the crowd holding a hat out “begging” for money. They approach the man

“How much to put lipstick on the monkey and have him pay special attention to one person in particular?” Alec asks

“Is that for you or for him?” The man asks

“I, we, don't touch the monkey. we don't want to have anything to do with the monkey. How's 50?” Alec eyes him expecting the man to barter 

“For 60 I'd strap on a garter and wax her legs.”

“Lovely, 60 it is… you don’t have to shave her legs.” Alec looks to Magnus “lipstick, darling.”

Magnus pulls a tube of lipstick from his Jean’s pocket and hands it over along with a picture of Sebastian, the monkeys “target"

Alec and Magnus go behind some trees. They are out of sight but they still have a view of the show.. which has just begun

“Honey, you can't be treating me this way.” Monkey man states dramatically to the monkey, who is wearing a blue tutu with matching garter and Magnus’s red lipstick.

The monkey, surprisingly is a good actor. She puts her arm against her forehead and is searching the crowd, looking for her new lover

“We've known each other too long. You can't even look me in the eye.” He continues his act

And just like clockwork here come Sebastian. Alec elbows Magnus and nods his head toward their victim.

“What? You're in love? You're in love with that man?” he points to Sebastian, who stops to see why everyone is looking at him

“That man could never make you happy.” Suddenly the monkey rushes to Sebastian, climbs up his back and puts it’s arms around his neck

“What the hell is that? Shit!” Sebastian yells “Good God!” his arms are flaring, trying to reach the monkey

“Kiss him, baby!” and the monkey does leaving lipstick stains everywhere 

“Get this goddamned monkey off my back!”

The owner whistles and the monkey is back by his side “Give that man a hand!” He says to the audience as Sebastian is walking away.


	9. Popcorn and whiskey

Magnus and Alec are back in their makeshift home. Sitting in the lawn chairs facing the screen, eating popcorn and drinking whiskey straight from the bottle, waiting for the show to start. Both men have knowing grins plastered on their faces.

Sebastian is pacing his apartment, talking on his phone “OK, that's fine.. No problem. Great thank you.”

He finishes the call just as Camille walks in “Hello, sweetheart.” He says and pecks her lips

“Here we go.” Alec says “The target's home” He puts a handful of popcorn in his mouth

Sebastian holds up his phone towards Camille “you know bankers want to know every little thing" he places the phone on the counter

Camille raises an eyebrow “What do they know about the restaurant business anyway? Are we packed?”

Sebastian ignores the first comment “Hey, why don't we forget about the Hamptons and spend the weekend in bed?”

“There, that look! She sees it.” Alec jumps out of his chair and goes closer to the screen “Stay with her” he says to Magnus who has been moving the camera to follow their movements “Go back to her, Magnus! Stick to her.”

“Relax.” Magnus tells him

“Anything you wanted to tell me?” Camille asks Sebastian

“What?” Sebastian says not knowing where this conversation is going

“What's that on your collar?” pointing to the lipstick stains

“Turn it up. I can't hear them.” Magnus tells Alec

“Oh, that.” Sebastian starts “You'll never believe this. I'm walking through Washington Square and there's this stupid man. You know, some guy with a monkey.”

“A street performer?” Camille offers

“That son of a bitch, yeah. The monkey jumps on me and won't get off my back.”

“You're kidding.”

“The people all around, they are laughing. And the monkey is kissing me, kissing me. I think it peed on me. It stinks.”

Camille is laughing at his story

“What is she laughing at?” Alec asks as he’s pointing at the movie screen then throws popcorn at the screen

“I don't know.” Magnus is perplexed. How could Camille just laugh this off?

“What do you think of the story?” Sebastian asks Camille

“I'll show you what I think.” she starts chasing Sebastian around the apartment, both laughing “I'll get you.” And she does. Their making out walking towards the bedroom

Alec takes a huge swig from the whiskey bottle and hands it to Magnus “Drink up, buddy because tonight we’re going in.”


	10. Love and Hate

They watch Camille and Sebastian get into a taxi headed for their Hamptons trip and they make their way over to their apartment. It’s just across the street, but Magnus and Alec seem to be having trouble with walking. Couldn’t have anything to do with the two bottles of whiskey they drank. Alec is currently holding the third, swerving his way to their door.

Alec pulls out key and puts it in the lock “Idiot never even changed the lock.” He slurs out under his breath. They walk in and Alec whispers “close it" Alec disappears somewhere in the apartment.

Magnus whispers “It’s so much smaller than it looks on TV.”

Alec reappears, holding a pair of red boxer briefs out to Magnus “In the couch.”

“What?”

“Put them In the couch. Don't make it obvious.”

“You're kidding.”

“Just do it.”

“Were you wearing them?”

Alec nods, giggling

“Why??”

“Authenticity.” He slurs and makes his way to a bookcase “What are you going to do?” Alec asks

Magnus holds up and waves all the receipts from their shopping sprees “Receipts. Need to plant them around so Camille will find them"

“Why are we whispering?” Alec wonders as he moves around the apartment inspecting different items

“I don't know.” Magnus continues to hide receipts

“Mine.”

“Mine.”

“Mine.”

“Mine.”

When Magnus disappeared Alec has no idea but when he reappears he is in one of Camille’s skirts and says in a French accent “Perfection, yes?

“Voilà.” Alec replies

“This is comfortable. This is what you wear to walk about with everything swinging freely.” Magnus starts his French accent again “Look at me. I am so fabulous. I am so beautiful. Witness my smooth chest. It is nice, no?”

Alec is looking at him with hungry eyes. His head is fuzzy and dizzy and Magnus’s voice sounds muted, he trips his way over to Magnus “You look...” Alec slams his lips onto Magnus’s and is only a little surprised when Magnus kisses him back. He’s not sure if he's pushing or Magnus is pulling them towards Camille and Sebastian’s bedroom, both of them discarding clothes along the way. They are both naked, facing each other in front of the bed “tell me you want this...” Alec says as he sucks on Magnus’s neck

“I want this" Magnus pulls Alec down on the bed and in his drunken stupor whispers “I love you, Camille”

Alec replies “I hate you, Seb" and a single tear falls down his cheek


	11. Steppingstone

“I got to make the bed.” Magnus says as he’s lying there staring at the ceiling

“Sure. Right.” Alec says as he gets out of bed in search of his clothes

“Can you clean the kitchen?” Magnus asks as he starts dressing 

“We should get out of here.” Alec hasn’t looked at Magnus once this morning

Magnus stands in front of him “I think we should talk.”

“Nothing to talk about.” Alec side steps him and goes to the kitchen 

“Yes, there is. Something happened. I would like to talk about it.” Magnus pushes

“Nothing happened, Magnus.” Alec goes about cleaning the kitchen “OK? Nothing. Happened.” He's hoping he punctuated his last words firmly enough to make Magnus shut up 

“I know what you're going through. I'm going through the same thing" Magnus tries again

Alec has had enough, why can't Magnus drop this? He picks up the empty whiskey bottle from the kitchen counter and slams it into the trash bin then storms over to the couch to put his boots on. With venom in his voice he says “Get this straight, pal. I'm not like you. I don't care what you're going through. If I thought you and I were alike in even the slightest way I would tie a rope around my neck.” The words escape his mouth before he can filter or stop them. He takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that"

“Last night wasn't us, Alec.”

“I know and I'm glad you know.”

“Maybe we should just, I don't know, call it a day.” Magnus says as he sits on the couch next to Alec

“You know what's going to happen to her, Magnus? He's going to make her feel like she's the only person in the world. When he looks at her, it'll be just like a kid looks at a Christmas tree all lit up and shiny. For the first time, she'll feel like she's really been seen and really loved. And she’ll have no choice but to fall completely in love with him. And then" Alec inhales then exhales and blinks away tears. He turns his head to look at Magnus and he continues with a slightly shaky voice “And then three months later she'll find a pair of panties in the couch. Then she'll learn that she was just a steppingstone. That he was just using her to get a visa. It'll change her, Magnus.”

“I understand” Magnus says as he gets up walking towards the kitchen he stops at the dining table and cocks his head to one side, he turns to face Alec “You know what's always bothered me?” He says trying to get Alec’s mind on something else “I can't see the side of her face. I can never see the left side of her face... When she's standing here in the kitchen... because of these things in the window. So help me move this table over a little bit.” He goes to one end of the kitchen table and is glad Alec gets up  and picks up the other end

“Good?” Alec says

“A little more. Good”


	12. Dishwasher

Sebastian is sitting at the bar in his restaurant going through paperwork when he hears the door open, without looking up he barks out “What?”

“I saw the sign about the job.” Magnus says

“I don't want a half salt shaker on the table. You go and refill it immediately.” He says to one of the wait staff setting up tables. “ll faut tout leur apprendre!”

“Pardon?” Magnus asks

“Nothing here for you. Go.”

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason in my own restaurant?”

“Of course not.”

“I don't like your face, that's why. Just go"

Magnus turns to go and as he’s walking towards the door he notices one of the vases on a table isn’t centered. Gotcha, he thinks. He walks to the table and centers the vase.

Sebastian was watching him through the bars mirror. “Wait. Why did you do that?”

“Why did I do what?”

“The flowers why did you move it like that?”

“I wanted them to be in the middle of the table.”

“Why?” Sebastian asks again

“Because it was… it was just something that I had to do.”

“Perhaps at heart you seek perfection, no?”

“Yes, perhaps I do.” Magnus gets ushered into the kitchen. There’s a stack of dirty pots and pans waiting for him. He gets started at his new job, dishwasher. It’s a far cry from astronomer.

“Almost done?” Sebastian asks after a couple of hours

“Almost.”

“Good work. Why don't you stop for a moment?” Sebastian leans against a counter watching Magnus who is just finishing up some pots “I know who you are.” Sebastian starts

Panic rises in Magnus, he scrubs the pot harder

“It took me a little while, but I figure it out. Dry off your hands and follow me”

He’s leading them to his office. Magnus is trying to hold his panic at bay while he tries to figure out how Sebastian found out who he is “how does he know me? Did Camille speak about me? Show him pictures? Oh God, did I leave something of mine in their apartment” these thoughts go through his head then the terrifying thoughts “wait? Why is he taking me to his office? Is that where his henchmen will chop me up and put my body parts in a barrel of cooking grease? Ok, calm down, deep breath in and exhale. Sebastian doesn’t even have henchmen … does he?”

“Come in, have a seat" Sebastian says as he half sits on his desk in front of Magnus “It was you who attacked me that day. I couldn't see your eyes, but I don't forget a face.”

Magnus is staring at Sebastian, not saying anything

“You didn't put an address down on your application. You are homeless, aren't you?”

Magnus nods

“That's OK. Don't be ashamed. You know, I was hungry myself once. I would see a rich man, a man I envied and thought I would want to strangle him. But that's not the way I found. You must better yourself. Don't be ashamed. Give me your hand. Come on.”

Magnus does

“I like a man who fights for what he wants." He squeezes Magnus's hand "But if you ever mess with me again I'll rip out your eyes and rape your skull. Excuse my French"

Magnus starts to walk out.

“Oh, one more thing" Sebastian punches him “See you at work tomorrow night"


	13. Ducklings

Alec is tending to Magnus’s black eye. “So, you did all his dishes and got punched in the face? What was your thinking there? I'm missing something. What was your plan?”

Magnus winces at the cold water bottle Alec is holding on his eye “No plan. I just wanted to face him. I wanted to be in the same room with him... to talk to him. In my mind, he was like a God"

“Now what do you think?”

“Well, it's not like he's a God _God_ anymore. He's more like a volcano God or a sea God. One of those sub-Gods." Magnus hesitates "Alec… I think he likes me. One thing, though. He said something about having sex with my skull?”

“He says that to everybody. Don't worry about it.”

“I don't like the sound of it. I don't like the image that it conjures.” Magnus shivers at the thought

“I can't honestly say I blame you, Magnus. Come on, let's go"

 

Alec and Magnus are sitting on a park bench, swapping stories, while they are handing out to the line of children $5, squirt guns filled with perfume and a picture of Sebastian.

Magnus is telling the story of how he fell in love with Camille “…So I let go with my hands and I fell off the top of the jungle gym face first and I broke this tooth in half.” Magnus taps his finger on the tooth showing Alec which one. “I'm laying on my back, blood all over my face, the kids are yelling, the teachers are freaking out and I look up, and there she is. She's just looking down at me with this worried little smile on her face. I swear to God, when I saw her, the pain just went away.

“Once I took pictures of a bunch of ducklings who imprinted on a gardener.” Alec starts “They thought he was their Mama. They used to chase him around all day while he drove around on his lawn mower.”

“That's exactly what it feels like. It's like she's branded on my brain.” Magnus says

Alec continues his story “what happened to this guy is that one day he forgot the ducks were there. He put the mower in reverse and chewed them to pieces.”

“Jesus Alec, don't you know any happy stories?”

The kids spot Sebastian and go after him, guns loaded, shouting:

“There he is”

“That's him!”

“Let's get him!”

Alec stands “Our work is done”.


	14. Milky Way Man

“Small people coming out of the blue. I had to protect myself with one of them.” Sebastian tries to explain to Camille after she smelled the perfume on him

“Small people coming out of the blue?” She says, hands on hips

“Yeah little children shooting perfume at me. From their guns.”

“Guns? Like water guns?”

“Yes. Water guns. Spooky, huh? Wait, the loaf, I think it's burning.”

Alec and Magnus have their usual seats for the show, eating Chinese from the cartons “Look at him trying to weasel his way out of it.”

“He didn't do anything, Magnus.”

“Sebastian, don't you think it's peculiar that little children would be shooting perfume at you?”

“I thought it was something American kids do. A fad, I don't know. We should have some salad.”

“It's very expensive perfume, Sebastian. I used to wear that perfume.”

“Good call, Magnus!” Alec high fives him

“Last week you had lipstick on your collar.”

“From the monkey.” Sebastian reminds her

“And now perfume from squirt guns from rich New York kids? What are the odds of something like that happening to one person?”

“I don't know. Ask a mathematician. Or better yet ask your old boyfriend, the Milky way man”

“That's you, Magnus!” Alec smiles

“What are you getting at? You're driving me crazy.”

“Sebastian, I want you to promise me something. Just promise that if you were ever doing anything that you would tell me.”

“Why are you even thinking of such a thing?”

“Maybe we could work it out. I just couldn't take it if you were lying to me.”

“Sweetie, why would I have sex with a hamburger when I can make love to a steak?”

“Oh come on!” Alec throws his hands up and turns the volume off, he can’t Listen to them anymore “She's this close, Magnus. This close. I think we're getting to them. Did you get the sweet and sour?”

“I think we are definitely getting to them.” Magnus agrees, handing Alec the sweet and sour.

Their both watching Sebastian and Camille sitting on their couch, for once not caring what they are saying.

“Look, my darling” Magnus says in a French accent deciding to provide the voice for Sebastian “I wanted to show you how well my hands fit on my knees and to give you a little kiss.”

“Get away from me, please. You are rude.” Alec joins in as Camille's voice

“But I love you, my little lamb. I must have you. My love is throbbing at quite a fevered cadence.”

“You cannot have me. My love is reserved for another.”

“You cannot mean...”

“Yes, the Milky way man!”

“No! Anyone but him. This is a man who can predict puffer cluster emissions. To him I am nothing. A little, teeny” Magnus tries to think of something “I'm a worm.”

“I love his emissions. Not every man can be a Milky way man. What will you do now?”

“Forlorn, I will roam the earth by myself, thinking of you and pausing occasionally to have the sex with the skulls”

Alec breaks out laughing and it’s the most joyous laugh Magnus has ever heard. Magnus is soon joining him in laughter.


	15. Superman

“...or I will make you eat another one of those pecans!” Sebastian yells from the kitchen pass where he’s inspecting the food.

“This is very good.” Magnus mimics him while he’s washing the dishes “Look how I'm licking my fingers. You like that? I like everything. I am French.”

“Can I ask you a question, Sebastian?” Magnus says

“Sure you can.”

“How do you like America?”

“Why do you ask?”

“You're French. Do you ever miss it? Do you ever get lonely for your own country?”

“I was never so much French since I've been here. You know Superman?”

Magnus nods

“That's me, I'm Superman. And France was like Krypton. On Krypton everybody was Superman. You make a nice sauce. Everybody make a nice sauce. You say hello to a nice man or woman with your French accent and everybody says hello! But here on Earth, the moment I arrived I knew this was the place I had special powers. I talk about my little town and the bankers open their checkbook and say how great, charming, and exotic you are, Sebastian. I could read a recipe on a date and they become hypnotized. Here I have these powers. Back home, I was nothing. But here, I'm Superman. Hip-hip, America! Hip-hip, land of freedom!” he shouts

“Now you, you're not French. But it's OK, you know? You still have opportunity in this country. Yesterday, you had no job, no future. But today, a step-up. A little step, but a step. Soon you can afford a place to live and get a girlfriend or boyfriend”

“I have a girlfriend.” Magnus mumbles

“No, really. Pretty girl?”

“She's the most wonderful woman in the world.”

“She must love you a good deal.”

“You think people only want men or women for their money?”

“No, not just money. Power also, and success. Don't fool yourself, dishwasher. They want someone who takes what they want”

“I don't think that's true.”

“Listen. My girlfriend was seeing a man when I met her. I took her back to my place and I ask her about him...very innocently, of course.”

“Of course.” Magnus says through clenched teeth

“She had many wonderful things to say about him. How nice and devoted, how gentle he was. So I started to probe in very subtle ways about how strong, powerful, and successful he was. I was very good. In no time, we were lying together on my couch. I think she wanted me to force her away from him. You could see it in her eyes. She wanted the battle. She was crying, too, but she was kissing me. Later, of course, she came like a rocket.”

Magnus was squeezing the glass he was cleaning so hard he broke it.

“Don't worry about the glass. I won't charge you this time.”

The restaurants manager came rushing in. "Sebastian! He's here. Matheson.”

“Matheson? Are you sure?” He looks into to dining room

“Table nine.”

“Oh my God. It's him. Go!”

Magnus is fuming and decides this is an opportunity he can’t pass up. He calls Alec and tells him to hurry to the restaurant with a very special package. 15 minutes later Alec is at the back door of the restaurant holding a paper bag.

“Did you bring them?” Magnus makes grabby hands at Alec

Alec nods, handing him the brown bag “What I just did was the most revolting thing I've ever done.”

“Harold Matheson the food critic for the Times is here”

“Whoa, big step. Are you sure you're ready for this?”

“Everyone!” Sebastian shouts as he enters the kitchen. Magnus shoos Alec away. Alec thinks he may have created a monster.

“I want everyone to do a good job tonight. I want everything perfect. Didier, I can see this is not good! And you, dishwasher, you don't drop a dish tonight. I want everything perfect for the bastard. Heaven for the pig!”

Everyone is scurrying around the kitchen, checking sauces and grilling meats. No-one is paying attention to Magnus or the food pass. He takes advantage of this opportunity and pulls out the paper bag Alec brought him, opens it and turns it upside on the plates going to the dinning room. He goes back to washing dishes and can’t seem to stop smiling.


	16. Les Cafards

Sebastian is standing by the bar watching Matheson when he sees the critic wave him over.

“I asked your steward for a Chenin Blanc and he brought me this. You have any idea how that happened?”

“I took the liberty, Mr. Matheson. It's from my private reserve.”

“You know, if I had a suspicious mind I'd think you're trying to get on my good side.”

“I thought you would enjoy the year.”

“I'd say that your little ruse is working very well especially if you could locate another bottle.”

“Well, certainly. We might find a bottle or two.”

“Excuse me" the waiter sets down his plate “Enjoy your meal, Mr. Matheson.”

Sebastian is just about to walk away when Matheson starts talking again “I've just come back from France. Whereabouts are you from?”

“Beaucaire" Sebastian answers as he notices a small commotion on the other side of the dining room “It's just a small province in the south of France.”

“Beaucaire? Oh I know that. Isn't that near Nîmes?”

“Oh my God! Did you see that?!” Sebastian hears another customer say tuning out Matheson trying to figure out what the hell is going on “Excuse me?” Sebastian says after he realizes Matheson is waiting for an answer to what question he does not know

“Is that near Nîmes?” Matheson asks again

Sebastian looks at Matheson and he sees something moving on his plate “yes, it’s near there"

“Hmm” Matheson says as he brings his fork full of food towards his mouth, looking at Sebastian instead of his fork “I thought so"

Sebastian looks horrified and he watches the man who can break his career about to put a fork full of pasta topped with a cockroach into his mouth.

Matheson feels something in his mouth is moving, he’s looking at Sebastian with wide eyes. He pulls his napkin from his lap and spits the mouthful of food into it.

That’s when all hell broke loose ladies screaming as cockroaches move about on the tables, on the floor, on the food. Wait staff trying to catch and kill them. Patrons all walking quickly out of the restaurant.

Sebastian himself is trying desperately to trap the roaches on Matheson’s table It’s a mad house, everyone running about. Everyone, except Magnus who is still washing dishes.

 

 

 

Sebastian has his head on Camille’s lap “Everything I had is in that restaurant.”

“It's not that bad. I have my job.”

“Your teacher's salary won't pay for the toilet paper!”

“That's because they don't pay teachers what they're worth. In some parts of the world-“

“Camille, don't go there. Do you mind if we don't have this discussion again right now?”

“Of course”

“Thank you. Don't be angry.”

“I'm not angry"

Magnus looks at Alec “She's angry.”

“What if they close me down permanently? What would you do?” Sebastian asks her as he sits up

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if I couldn't afford this nice place anymore?”

“You can always find work. You can go back to modelling-“

“He was a model?” Magnus asks Alec with a raised eyebrow

“What if I couldn't find work? Then what? What would you do if I were poor?”

“I would sit out on the curb with you all day and sell pencils. Then when it got dark, we would crawl into our cozy refrigerator box and make love all night. And then sell pencils again at sun-up.”

Sebastian jumps off the couch and makes his way to the bookcase, searching for something

Alec gets up and walks to the window to get a better look when the floor gives out, and he falls in the hole; he’s half way between the top and bottom floor trying to pull himself up. Magnus runs to him to try and help

“Where are you going?” Camille asks

“Watch them Magnus! Where's he going? What's he doing?”

Magnus moves to where he can see the screen

Alec, still struggling to pull himself up “Talk to me”

Magnus moves closer to the screen “He's getting something off of a shelf.”

“What is it?”

“It's a ring. Oh, no!” Magnus feels his heart sink

“What does it look like?” Alec is clenching his teeth

Magnus grabs the binoculars and peers out the window “Almost like a mans ring, maybe unisex? I don’t think that will fit her, but It's a fat diamond band with a…”

Alec finishes his sentence “A big, fat opal in the middle? Yeah I'm familiar with it”

Sebastian sprints back to the couch to Camille grabbing her hands, bringing them to his lips kissing them “Ton visage, ton corps tu es mien, je suis toi. Je t'aime, mon amour. veux-tu être ma femme?”

“What is that?” Magnus asks as he goes back to help Alec

“The bastard” Alec grunts out

“What? Alec?” Magnus finally gets Alec pulled up

Alec lying on his back looks at Magnus “He said: would you like to be my wife”


	17. Ragnor

Alec and Magnus arrive back at the abandoned building, they are just walking through the makeshift door when they see someone walking towards them trying to avoid the debris

“Ragnor! So you found me.” Alec walks to him giving him a hug

“I get 50 pounds of flowers delivered to my door and I call the florist and he gives me your name and this charming address. Not to mention the jewellery and the perfume and the television set, for Christ's sake. What's got into your head, boy?”

“Too much? You didn't like them?” Alec grins at him

“It's one thing not to call your mother for ages but to hide from me for two months. You better be found lying dead in the gutter if you know what's good for you.” Ragnor smacks Alec’s ass then squeezes both cheeks “What is that? Your ass feels like hard little rocks.”

“Cut it out.” Alec steps away with a laugh

“As for you” Ragnor looks at Magnus “Taking my little boy away. Come here now!” Magnus looks at Alec who shrug, he obeys and steps to Ragnor “I'm Ragnor, Alec’s uncle for all intents and purposes” Ragnor hugs Magnus “It's such a pleasure to finally meet you, Sebastian.”

Magnus’s eyes widen but he decides to play along, Alec clearly hasn’t told his family about his breakup “Very happy to finally be meeting you, too.” Magnus then thinks it’s probably a bad idea to invite Ragnor upstairs where he can see all the surveillance equipment. He looks at Alec and hopes he catches on “if we hurry we can get you some vanilla custard”

Alec does catch on and adds “at Di Roberti's before it closes.”

They make their way to the custard shop and find a booth in the back. Magnus slides in and Alec sits next to him. Alec is deep in thought, twirling his spoon, when he hears Ragnor say “The spoon goes in right side up, dear. We weren't brought up in a barn.”

Alec grins at him “Ragnor, you got something in your teeth just there.  Here, hand them to me.”

“Oh, you little bitch!”

They’re having a great time laughing and joking and telling stories. Ragnor glances at his watch “Oh, dear, it's late. I think I better be getting home.”

“You have to go already?” Alec says sadly

“I've got a yoga class in the morning. But first, I want to take your picture.” Ragnor pulls out his mobile “Move in closer.” Ragnor holds up his mobile ready to take the picture “Put your arm around him, Sebastian”

Magnus does as he’s told

“Alec, don't make a face.”

“I'm not.”

“He always makes a face when you take his picture.”

“I do not.”

“For Pete's sake, just to act natural. Why don't you give him a kiss, Sebastian? Don't be shy. Come on.”

Ragnor snaps a pic as Magnus pecks Alec on his cheek

“You can do better than that, Sebastian” Ragnor says

“Yeah, Sebastian, you can do better than that.” taunts Alec

Magnus looks at Alec then pulls his head closer. He has a moment of hesitation before he closes the space between them. It starts sweet they barely hear Ragnor

“Did you see a flash? Do I need a flash on a mobile?”

Their still kissing sweetly then Magnus licks Alec’s bottom lip begging for entry and Alec opens his mouth. The kiss is heated, their tongues are tangled, their hands are touching each other. They slowly back away from each other. Staring into each other’s eyes.

“God, I hate these things.” Says Ragnor still trying to figure out his phone “Come on, kiss.”

They do, less heated this time and Ragnor gets his picture “All right, Alec dear will you take care of the check?”

Alec is still dazed from the kiss, not really thinking he says “Just spend the night with us.”

Ragnor huffs “In that Bohemian hell hole? No thanks”

Alec’s eyes narrow “How long were you in our hell hole before we got there?”

“Not very long. I just straightened up a little upstairs. Listened to the radio.”

“What radio?” Magnus questions Alec elbows him and gives him a look “Oh” Magnus says “The radio. What was on the radio?”

“Some little radio play. More like a soap opera. I'm ashamed to admit I listened to that silly thing.”

“What was it about?” Alec asks

“Who cares? I want to hear more about the both of you.”

“I'm interested, too, in the radio show" Magnus says

“Let's see” Ragnor begins “two characters. A Frenchman and a girl. In the beginning, he's on his way home and she's upset about something. It turns out she thinks he's having an affair. And he says, I didn't, I didn't! And she says, well, how do you explain this? And shows him some undergarments she found in the couch and some other things he can't explain, and he denies it. Then she says something about monkeys. I really couldn't follow that part. And then there was silence for a bit and then he confesses.”

“HE WHAT!??” Alec and Magnus say at the same time

“He confesses. He was seeing another man, an investor or something. It was a little confusing.”

“Come on, let's go!” Alec says as he stands from the booth he helps Ragnor out from his side “Then what happened?”

“He starts crying and begging her to forgive him. And she says a certain four-letter word...more than a couple of times, and storms out. I didn't know you were so interested in this kind of thing.”

“We listen to that show all the time. Watch your fingers.” Alec tells Ragnor as he puts him in a taxi

They wave goodbye to Ragnor and turn to face each other. Both thinking the same thing, they start sprinting to the abandoned building


	18. Goodbye

Alec and Magnus are watching a broken down Sebastian when Magnus spots a familiar man knocking on Sebastian’s door

Sebastian opens the door

"Who is that” Alec asks

“Sebastian? I'm Mr. Belcourt. Camille’s father."

“Oh, yes, How are you? Come in, come in. Can I offer you something, a cup-“ Sebastian is ushering him towards the kitchen when Mr Belcourt stops him

He sees Mr Belcourt pull a letter from his pocket

" ** _Sebastian, you hurt me very badly. All I asked for was honesty and you betrayed me. I had hoped... "_**

“Ah, hell” Magnus mumbles

Alec turns to Magnus “I can't believe it. We did it!”

“What?”

“We did it, Magnus! All this time, and we weren't even here for it. What are you going to do now?” Alec asks with hope in his eyes

Magnus thinks about it “well, she left suddenly, right? So she probably went some place familiar. To the hotel where she was staying before.”

Alec grabs his backpack and starts putting his camera and lenses in it “You're probably right. What are you waiting for, Magnus? Go get her.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, now. What's the matter with now?”

“I can't. What would it look like?”

“Who cares? She's not thinking straight. She'll buy anything.”

“What's the big hurry to get me out of here?”

“Look, if you don't want her after all this...”

“Of course I do.” Magnus’s voice is low

“I really don’t care about that. It's your business. I still got some work to do and, no offense, but I really miss my privacy.”

“I thought we could just take a minute to say goodbye. I mean, it feels kind of strange to not...”

Magnus stops talking and watches as Alec zips up his backpack and looks at Magnus arms crossed with a “let’s get this over with” look on his face. Alec just stares at him

Magnus takes the hint and grabs his jacket and trash bag of his things. He turns to Alec before leaving “you just have to wreck everything, don't you?”

“Are we done saying goodbye yet" Alec says like he’s bored

“Yeah" says Magnus

“Then why are you still here.”

Magnus shakes his head in disbelief and leaves. Alec watches him go


	19. The Lord's Prayer

Magnus is just about to Camille’s hotel when he sees Sebastian getting thrown out by the doorman who’s telling him “No, she does not want to see you. You are not welcome here. You try and sneak in here again and you're going to jail.”

Sebastian yells at the doorman “How dare you! I rape your skull!” He turns his head and sees Magnus “Dishwasher!”

“Sebastian, hi.”

“Is that any kind of greeting for your old boss?”

“How are you?” Magnus asks him

Sebastian replies cheerfully “I've never been better. Every day is a holiday, every night the Fourth of July.”

“Oh, good. Well, I better be going.” Magnus tries to walk away

“I'm lying. I feel terrible. I broke up with my fiancé. My restaurant is gone and I'm running out of money.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't worry. Don't be sorry. Do you have a place yet?”

“Not yet.”

“You'll stay with me then"

“What! Why? You don't even know me.”

“I know one thing.” Sebastian starts “That last night at the restaurant everyone is running around, even me, but I notice you in your little room. You were not looking out. you were not staring stupidly like the rest. You just kept working like a rock. You're a good man, a good friend.” Sebastian pats him on his shoulder “What's your name, by the way?”

“Mike”

“Mike, I'm a nervous wreck. I'm not doing well on my own. I feel vi..vih...” Sebastian is trying to figure out the word “It's like somebody has thrown away a piece of me. How do you say vide... When there is nothing inside something?”

“Hollow.”

“Yeah. That's how I feel. I feel so hollow. You would be doing me a favor, really. Just one drink. I can't go back to that empty apartment by myself. I will die. Please.”

Magnus gives in and goes to Sebastian’s. He’s really hoping Alec left and is not watching and listening… no such luck.

“That's it. No more.” Magnus tells Sebastian who is opening another bottle of wine

Sebastian pulls the cork out “You must try this one next. It's a sexy little Margaux from '83. I was going to give it to Matheson to help wash down the bugs.” Sebastian laughs and brings glass of wine and some appetizers over to Magnus

Alec meanwhile is glaring out the window, pacing back and forth like a caged animal, watching and listening

“Mike, I don't know how she found out. I was going to tell this other man good-bye, anyway. I only slept with him to help the loan for my restaurant. It's not like I cheated, you know... and it was only once with this man. And I hardly came at all just a fraction of what I'm capable. I thought of Camille the entire time."

Magnus hears Alec yell “SON OF A BITCH" and can see things being thrown around

Sebastian is still trying to justify himself “If that can be twisted into something terrible I'm surely the only sane man in a world gone mad. Don't you think?”

“ASSHOLE" Alec screams, still throwing things

“I really couldn't say, Sebastian” Magnus trying to keep an eye on the abandoned building

“I'm going to get her back, Mike. She needs me. I have to get her back.”

Magnus takes an appetizer and eats it, it’s good. He grabs the dish and starts eating them all he turns his head to Sebastian “This is really good.” He hears a window shatter across the street and turns his head back towards the building “I'm sorry. It is.” He says to Alec

“Ok" Sebastian says while standing up “Time for bed. I have modelling work waiting for me tomorrow. A step down, yes, but Sebastian Verlac isn't proud.” Sebastian then pulls his shirt up and pats his stomach “Look at me, Mike. I haven't gained a pound since my modelling days. I'm going to be just fine, and you don't worry about me.”

“Well, ok then, I guess I better be moseying on. Let you get your beauty rest.”

“No, no no no, please, a little longer. You know, the crème caramel is almost done... and I have a very nice wine from my friend Pierre. I'll be right back. Here you go. Please.” He gentle pushes Magnus to sit back down “Wait there. Please” Sebastian rushes into the kitchen.

Once Sebastian is out of site Magnus goes to the window and kneels down and whispers near the bug “Alec, come to the window.”

Alec is sitting under the window against the wall listening

“Please, this wasn't my idea. Alec, don't be angry with me. look at him. How could I leave him?”

Sebastian appears behind Magnus just staring at him and then kneels beside him “I haven't done this in years. How is it in English? Our Father, who art in heaven hollow…”

"Hallowed… " Magnus corrects him

"Hollow... hollow... " Sebastian tries

"Hallowed be Thy name... "

 

Later that night Alec sneaks into Sebastian’s apartment while they are asleep. He passes a sleeping Magnus on the couch and goes to Sebastian’s room. He takes the moldy strawberries from his bag and squishes them between his hand. He’s looking down at Sebastian and puts the strawberries in his pillow case then he flicks his fingers, spraying the berry juice on Sebastian’s face.

Alec walks over to the couch where Magnus is and squats down so he’s just inches from his face, giving him the death glare. Magnus opens his eyes to see Alec “Stay out of my business.” He says and walks away


	20. Strawberries

Magnus goes to the school where Camille teaches. He sees her on the playground playing with some of the children

“Marching good. We're being a snake. A snake. We're looking good.” Camille is singing to the children as they act out each creature “Now be an elephant. An elephant. And marching and two and...” Camille sees him “Oh, my God! Magnus, it is you?” she rushes over and hugs him. She pulls back just to see his face “Are you here because of me?”

Magnus smiles and nods.

Camille let’s another teacher know she’s taking her lunch break off campus. Her and Magnus start to walk to the park

“God, Magnus, I can't believe you're actually here.”

“I can't believe it either"

“If only you knew what I've been going through the last couple of days. Listen to me, feeling sorry for myself. You know what I miss? I miss noon.”

“Me too.” Magnus says

“Sometimes I look up and wave at the sky. The kids think I'm nuts.”

“I know”

“Of course you do. You've been watching me through your telescope all the way from Archer's Bluff. Magnus, you're the best. How could I ever leave you? What was I thinking?”

“Why did you?”

“I don't know. I'm nuts. That's what my father says.”

“That's not a real answer.”

They sit on a bench in Washington Square. They don’t see Alec behind the tree taking pictures of them

“Why did I ever leave you, Magnus? You're so generous and kind and honest.”

“Camille, you don't know everything about me.”

“Of course I do. You're my milky way man.”

Camille hears a man in the distance “You're in love with that man? You’re breaking my heart”

She looks over and sees a monkey climbing on a man kissing him and then hears the man say “Get him off! Come on!”

With confusion and heartache on her face she turns to Magnus “Kiss me, Magnus, please.” And he does. Alec snaps one last picture before he walks away.

They make their way back to the school.

Their facing each other about to say goodbye

“I got a stud.” Camille says sticking her tongue out to show Magnus her piercing

“That I didn't know.”

“Camille, let's go!” One of the teachers yells

“I got to go. Come to my hotel tonight. The Evangeline, eight o'clock?”

“Eight o'clock. I'll be there.”

 

 

Alec is watching and listening to Sebastian, who has a lot of large men in his apartment repossessing his belongings.

“Go to hell! Take anything you want. Don't forget the TV! And don't forget the sofa also! Voleurs! Fascistes!” Sebastian walks away in a huff only to come back to yell some more “How dare you? I'll rape your skull”

Magnus walks in “Sebastian, what's going on?”

“Credit card bastards! They say I owe them thousands. I never used the card.”

Magnus is looking at Sebastian’s face in horror, it’s a mess

“Help me find my other shoe because if I find my other shoe I will be just fine. I have a nice little modelling job waiting for me with a nice little agency and after I get my money I'm going to go down and wipe it in their disgusting credit card faces! You can't keep Sebastian Verlac down! Because Sebastian Verlac is going to be just fine! Look at me now, you credit card bastards!”

Sebastian finally notices Magnus staring at his face “What, a pimple? Tell me it's not a pimple.” He goes to the mirror hanging in the hall and deflates, his entire face is red and blotchy he slumps down on the floor

“Is it a rash or an allergy?” Magnus asks

“It's called a chronic allergy. It's from food or mold, like shellfish, strawberries-“

“Strawberries?” Magnus glances across the street

“I haven't touched any of those for years.”

“Well, can I get you some ice or heat? Ointment? I’ll go get you some ointment”

Magnus leaves and goes across the street.

Alec is throwing things at Magnus as he tries to make his way up the steps

“Look! Look! Look! I am... look...” Magnus is searching for words while dodging flying objects

“There you go.” Alec says as he continues to throw things “There you go, loverboy”

“Hold it! Stop! We need to talk.” Magnus has his hands up walking towards Alec

“So how was your date with Camille? You looked cozy. I'm happy it worked out.”

“You were there?”

Alec rolls his eyes and says sarcastically “I missed you, Magnus. We were like girlfriends”

“This isn't about him anymore, is it?” Magnus says like he’s cracked some code

“Who? Him??” Alec points to Sebastian on the screen “You know, call me a hopeless romantic. I just hate to let him out of my sight.”

Magnus has to leave, he can’t be around Alec right now so he goes and buys ointment for Sebastian. On his way back he sees Sebastian walking down the sidewalk

“This is very painful” says Sebastian as spots Magnus

“Where are you going?” Magnus asks

“I have to see Camille”

“Maybe now isn't a good time. You don't look your best.”

“What if she's seeing another man, Mike? Another man touching her hair, her hips, her pink panties.”

Oh, God, Magnus forgot about her pink panties. The one with the little...

“You think me pathetic, don't you?”

“Yes, I do.” Magnus mumbles

“With Camille, the worst moments of my life were the happiest I've ever known. Even as the world was crashing around my shoulders I had the most extraordinary times with her. Yet I only knew her a brief time. How long do you know your lover?”

“A few weeks.” Magnus answers without thinking

“A few weeks? Love comes swift and hard.”

“Not a few weeks. Since we were kids.” Magnus realizes his mistake

“You just said a few weeks.”

“I did. I said that.” Magnus stops walking

“I didn't say you didn't.”

“But I did. I said that.”

“How did you two meet?”

“Common interests.”

“When will I meet her?”

“Him actually. We're not together anymore.”

“You didn't get along?”

“No. We had a great time together.”

“And what drove you apart?”

“Another guy.”

“He loves another man?”

“No, he hates him. He hates his guts. Sebastian, I'm sorry. I have to go.”

“You're not coming with me to see her?”

“You're on your own, sport.”

Magnus is just a few steps away from Sebastian when he hears a motorcycle revving its engine. He turns to see Alec headed directly at them. No, not at them at Sebastian. He does the only thing he can think of and pushes Sebastian out of the way. Unfortunately he pushes him into on coming traffic and Sebastian is hit by a taxi.

Magnus runs to help Sebastian as the man, _not_ Alec, gets off his bike and heads towards them.

“What in the world are you doing? I didn't even come close to him!” he yells at Magnus

Magnus is trying to help Sebastian up “I'm so sorry, Sebastian. I'm so sorry.”

“Camille. Where is Camille?” Sebastian mumbles

“It's all right. I'm right here to help"

“I want Camille Belcourt!”

“Nice and slow. I got you. The ambulance is on its way"

Once Sebastian is settled in the hospital and they’ve seen the doctor Magnus heads back to see Alec.


	21. Angel

Alec is standing by the window when Magnus arrives “Go back Magnus”

“I almost killed him, Alec. I was trying to protect him from somebody who I thought was you and I almost killed him. I broke his arms and his ribs. For what?”

“I was going to ask you about that, Magnus. Not that I'm ungrateful.”

“Stop it, Alec. Just stop it.”

“I was just curious about that.” Alec shrugs

“This isn't about him anymore. This is about us. You and me. I love you, Alec.”

“Oh, God, don't do this.”

“I love you.” Magnus says again moving closer to Alec

“What are you doing?” Alec moves away

“And I know you love me.”

“Why are you saying that?”

“I know you love me Alec.”

“Don't do this, Magnus.”

“You're crazy about me.”

“You should go home. Just get on a plane and go."

“I won't hurt you, Alec, I swear.”

“Look, I am trying to be nice, and you... I don't love you, Magnus. I don't have one iota of feelings for you whatsoever.”

“Then what were you doing watching me and Camille? He wasn't there. Why were you there?”

“It's none of your business anymore what I do or why.”

"You were there watching me because you care about me, because you have feelings for me.”

“You want to know why I was there, Magnus? You really want to know? Pictures. Pictures of you and Camille to show him. I told you I want him finished off. It doesn't have anything to do with you and me. I told you, stay out of my way.”

“That's it?” Magnus looks out the window to see Sebastian hobbling in his apartment. He’s got a full upper cast covering his chest and arms. His arms are stuck straight out like he’s waiting for a hug

“Ok if that's what you want Alec… if that's what it's going to take. Then Fine. Let's get it the hell over with” Magnus storms out straight to Sebastian’s apartment.

Alec turns on the telescope-camera and receiver

“Thank God, Mike. Thank God you're back. Scratch me, Mike, please. Scratch my chest, my face, quickly.” Sebastian is rubbing his face up and down a wall trying to get relief for his itchiness

Magnus looks out the window knowing Alec is watching… listening “Why?” he says to Sebastian

“Please, I'm not kidding. I can't stand it.”

“Why should I help you?”

“For the love of God, Mike!”

“What did you do, Sebastian? You must've done something terrible to deserve all this. What did you do?”

“I don't understand what you're talking about.”

“Confess, Sebastian!”

“Have you gone mad? I'm begging you. Just for a moment. Just one scratch.”

“Look at you. You've lost everything you have. Your money, your love, your self-respect. You're broken, Sebastian. You're repulsive!”

Magnus walks to the window and shouts “Is this what you want? Is this enough? No, huh? You want more? All right.”

He walks back to Sebastian “Do it, Sebastian. Confess.”

“Confess what?”

“That you hurt people!”

“Who, Camille? Yes, I cheated on Camille. I admit it, but why should you care?”

“You were using her, weren't you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just admit it! That you were using her to stay in this country just the way you used Alec!”

“I never told you anything about Alec. Who the hell are you?”

“I'm the milky way man and I know everything!” He walks back to the window “How's this? You enjoying the show?”

Sebastian slumps down on the sofa and exhales “Alec he was my angel.” he begins in a soft voice “He brought me here, in America. I was nothing before I met him, just a waiter in a little cafe in Paris.” Sebastian is staring off like he’s back at that café “Yeah. I used him. I used him terribly. But I didn't think it mattered because I was sure that I would grow to love him. I thought if I could just love him, then it would be all right. The shame would go away.”

He looks at Magnus “You can't choose who you love, Mike... or whoever the hell you are. And I love Camille. I love Camille more than anything! Who the hell do you think you are to judge? Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I'm nobody, Sebastian, I'm nobody.”

Magnus pulls out his mobile as he’s walking out of the building “Camille, we need to talk.”

 

Sebastian drops his mobile on the floor and dials emergency services with his toe. He drops down to the floor so the operator can hear him

“Hello? Yes, please I need to be scratched on my face, my chest, and my back. Please. Hello? It is an emergency call. I swear.”

Alec walks in past Sebastian, he goes straight to the windows and removes all the listening devices putting them in his backpack. Then he goes to the bedroom and shoves the strawberrie soaked pillow in there too. He heads over to Sebastian 

Sebastian is trying to get up to see who is in his apartment. Alec stops in front of Sebastian and squats down

“Hello, mister” Alec says with a soft smile as he helps Sebastian to a sitting position and sits next to him “Say we're even.”

“Alec? What?”

“Just say it. Say we’re even”

“Yes, yes we are even.”

“Good.” Alec starts scratching Sebastian on his face and neck “So how’ve ya been?”


	22. Lassie

Magnus is with Camille at her hotel

“Camille I need to tell you a few things that you won’t like"

“What is it Magnus? If this is about me leaving you believe me I’ve come to my senses”

“No, no. Well, yes actually it is about that. Please just listen” Magnus tells her everything. How they set up Sebastian to make it look like he was having an affair… the monkey, the perfume, the underwear, the receipts… everything that he and Alec did.

Camille is banging her fists on Magnus’s chest and crying and repeating “how could you"

Magnus just let’s her get everything out.

She finally stops “I have to go to him"

“Yes" Magnus says “you do. I have my own him to get to"

 

 

“Sebastian?” Camille is calling out in their apartment “Sebastian, where are you?”

“Here! I'm here, Camille!” He calls from the bedroom

“Oh, baby! Look at you!” she says sympathetically “Oh, God! I’ve missed you" she kisses him

“Oh, honey! I love you. You're everything to me.” Sebastian says between kisses

 

 

 

Alec is packing the stuff in the abandoned building when he gets startled by Magnus.

He stops what he’s doing and watches Magnus walk towards him slowly. This time he doesn’t move away.

“So” Magnus begins “I saw this episode of Lassie today.” walking closer to Alec “and Lassie was accused of a crime she didn't commit and the ranger was coming to put her to sleep.”

“uh oh.” Alec says, still not moving “How's Lassie going to get out of this one?”

“Well, the little boy found out that the ranger was coming and he told Lassie that she had to go away, far away. For her own good. But Lassie wouldn't leave. See, Lassie just couldn't leave the boy.”

“What did he do?” Alec watching Magnus close the space between them

“He told her that he never liked her. He said: I hate you. I hate you, Lassie. You're a bad dog. I hope I never see you again.”

“That must have made Lassie sad.” Alec is staring in Magnus’s eyes

“Yes, it did. Lassie trotted off very sadly. But you know what happened?”

Alec shook his head

“Lassie came home, Alec.” Magnus takes Alec’s hands in his and moves in to kiss him

Alec backs his head away slightly just before they kiss “Did the little boy make it with Lassie?”

“Yes, yes he did.” Magnus chuckles

“I love you Magnus”

“I love you Alexander”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, that's the end. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> I apologise for any errors I made in English or French (I used Google translate)
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos ❤

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, I welcome all criticism I just ask you to be kind about it! It is based off a movie I saw a very long time ago. Also, there was no Sebastian Verlac alone to tag so I'll add him here :)


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